ramblings

Been really in the dumps today. This whole move thing can get to a person. But it is more than that. All of a sudden, I feel like nothing; like I have no direction. I am going through these steps everyday, but what for? So I can wake up tomorrow and do them again? I apply for jobs, I call about jobs... nothing... It is no use saying, don't worry something will come up. I was good. I am afraid. I am afraid of not being the best anymore. Maybe it wasn't me that was the "good teacher" all along. Maybe I was just hiding behind Ann for 9 years. I can't even get an initial interview up there.

I have thought of alternative plans, plans that are apparently "just aren't plausible", according to D. He always sees the logic in things. Maybe they were, maybe they were not... I don't know... but I can't try alone.

I found my dream job advertised online... too bad I don't have the education for it. I need my Masters. Again, I have to wait on that.

I finished The Voyage of the Dawn Treader... (thats the 5th book if anyone is keeping track)... Good... The religious overtones in this one are stronger than in the other ones, by far. I like the way they are so delicately weaved in.

Well off to bed-- just ignore my ramblings...