intospective

When I was in college, my friend, Phil, used to like to go up to people and just say "who are you". It was very amusing to watch people respond. Sometimes they would give a name, sometimes they would give a position, yet others gave their relationship to someone else. If their answers fell into any of those categories he would always respond, no "who are you"

I figured out somethings about myself during this move. Some new friends that I have met here, have really helped me look at myself for who I really am, which is helping me realize why this has been so hard for me. If I were to answer that question, i would say "I am a teacher". That had become my entire identity. My entire being was going into my classroom, and my students. When we moved here, I truly felt as if I was losing my identity, because I was... I was losing the identity I had let consume me. What I had forgotten was, that I am more than a teacher, I am more than what is contained in those boxes that now reside in my basement. When I couldn't find a new teaching job, i was devastated, because it was destroying my self worth... because it had become that much a part of me. But what I am finally accepting is that, identity is not found within my teaching, and my self worth is not tied to a teaching job.

Maybe it is a good thing that I didn't get a teaching job, right off the bat here. I think I need(ed) the time away. I need to re identify myself. I need to learn again, who I am, on my own.